…about balance + mothering two kiddos.

being a Mama of two kiddos is a work of balance, a scale that’s endlessly tipping to this side and to that.

it’s tap, tap, tapping your foot on the bouncy seat as one slumbers and high-fiving the other for a successful and ferocious basketball dunk.

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it’s the car dance of switching between singing the silly words to “Slippery Fish” with one and cranking the volume on Essie Jain’s lullabies for the other.

it’s telling one to “wait just one minute” while the other eagerly awaits the sharp snap of my nursing top unclasping.

it’s sharing smiles with this one and giving kisses to that one, simultaneously…and getting both in return.

it’s changing this icky diaper and that icky diaper, two in row, with your kids’ boy parts displayed for all to see in the trunk of your car in parking lot of the “choo-choo store,” formerly known as Barnes & Noble, i.e. your happy place, before the kids came along.

it’s zipping this one’s coat and finding his favorite toy car to tuck into his pocket and tucking in a blanket around the other one’s leggies as he groans and gurgles to escape the confines of his car seat.

it’s reading book after book after {repetitive, sing-songy} book to this one while the other listens and smiles, a pink gum-filled grin that’s evidence of his delight in your voice.

it’s ordering noodles or chicken nuggets – or whatever the favorite food of the week is – for that one and pleading not-so-silently with this one to please, just this once, take a bottle, for your breasts need a break from his eager tugs as he gulps and gulps the food that your body provides.

it’s waiting for one to climb into his car seat – “i do it,” he says – while the desperate, hungry cries from the other fill the crumb-covered confines of the car.

it’s sshing and bouncing and swaying with one while the other uses your leg as a fire pole, sliding down, down, down, and finding giggles at the bottom.

it’s telling this one, for the eleventy-thousandth time, to “be careful around the baby” as the other one drops his toy rattle and subsequently wails for the eleventy-thousandth time.

it’s sending up prayers to God that the baby won’t wake as you play “hockey” with golf clubs with the other.

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it’s hearing the giggles of one elicit belly chuckles from the other, their laughter chipping away at all you were before they came into your life, before you said your first hello’s, before they filled your whole heart up.

it’s this one’s “i love you too, Mama,” even when he says it first, and coos and grins that say the same thing in the only language that the other one knows.

yes, motherhood is a balance. it stretches you in ways that you never thought possible, like a modern-day Gumby with a real, beating heart.

and oh, what a blessing it is to be the one that stretches and straddles the balance beam for these two little boys.

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Hi! I’m Sara.

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